I was chatting to a good friend the other day – we both returned from teaching in Nigeria a couple of years ago and as we were talking about our experiences since returning home, we realised that we we were both suffering from feeling out of place in our own home country as well as yearning for our old (rose coloured spectacle enhanced) life back in Nigeria!
Before leaving for our teaching adventures around the world, we are often well prepared for feelings of disorientation and the impact of moving to an unfamiliar country and culture when we arrive at our destination. However, we are usually unprepared for similar sorts of feelings when returning to our home country and even when we come back home for the holidays.
If you are in the middle of your summer holidays and feeling a little out of sorts, it could be that you are suffering from reverse culture shock. Here are some signs that could be indicators of this very common phenomenon:
1. Your home country now drives you crazy
You find yourself getting ridiculously angry over trivial things. The things that can be slightly irritating in normal life suddenly become huge issues and cause feelings of rage that make you want to roam the streets ranting and raving! I actually got quite irate about the fact that it took me soooo long to give my order in a restaurant because I couldn’t decide what to have (too much choice in the menu!!)
2. You feel very alone.
Though it would be great to feel that life stands still when you leave your beloved family and friends, life does actually keep going. Remember all those times that you fantasised about spending time with family and friends? All those parties you knew you were missing, life events, great nights out, fun times… Remember all those messages you got from people saying how much they missed you and wanted you to come home? Well, this is the weird part. Their lives didn’t actually stop when you left! So now here you are back and quite possibly single and ready to mingle, but wait, no one actually has time, and they are used to you not being there. Suddenly you feel quite alone in the place where everybody once knew your name.
3. No-one understands you anymore.
You have amazing stories to tell, but unfortunately no one wants to hear them. In fact, people will probably get annoyed when you start every sentence with “When I was in…” It is hard to realise that most people haven’t undergone the same changes you have, and you will probably feel lost and possibly even angry for a while (as well as noticing that the room empties quite quickly when you start talking).
4. Everything was so much better in…
Upon returning home, people have the tendency to think that everything was better in [insert favorite country here], which makes it hard for them to be content at home. It is typical for you to hold these countries in higher esteem than may be deserved. If you really think about it, there were plenty of not so great experiences that you had when you were away, but these have been conveniently forgotten!
Whether you are home temporarily for the summer holidays, in between adventures or permanently back in your home country, allow yourself to feel confused and give yourself time to transition to your home culture. You may have also developed new personal and professional goals; give yourself breathing room and don’t give yourself a hard time if you can’t meet your goals within your desired time frame. Have faith in yourself, trust yourself, and know that just as you successfully dealt with culture shock, you will also successfully deal with reverse culture shock.
Have you ever suffered from reverse culture shock? What coping strategies do you use? Please feel free to join the discussion in the comments below.
